Why Fitness Feels So Hard for Women and What to Do Instead

Jessica Bento, Physical Therapist

Let’s talk about something we’ve all felt but rarely say out loud:

Fitness can feel overwhelming, especially for women. And it’s no accident.

There’s a well-worn formula used to sell wellness:

Make people feel like they’re not enough and then sell them the “fix.”

It’s manipulative, it’s exhausting, and for women, it’s especially relentless. Just scroll for five seconds and you’ll be told you have to:

• Walk 10,000 steps (bonus points if it’s with a weight vest)
• Lift heavy (but not too heavy, right?)
• Sprint, do plyos, zone 2 cardio
• Meditate, journal, microdose
• Count your macros
• Get 8 hours of sleep (while raising kids, working full-time, and staying “balanced”)

And that’s just the starter kit.

Our attempts to get healthier can be making us more sick!

We’re expected to do all of this and be mothers, partners, professionals, caregivers, friends… It’s no wonder we feel like we’re always behind.

But here’s the truth:

You don’t HAVE to do any of it… not like this.

Yes, movement, nutrition, and recovery matter. But when they’re driven by guilt, fear, and unrealistic expectations, they can become just another source of stress. And stress doesn’t make us healthier it makes us more exhausted, less consistent, and more likely to give up.

So What Does Work?

Let’s get into what the research says.

Do Something You Actually Enjoy
Sounds simple, but it’s proven. Enjoyment is one of the strongest predictors of how consistent, frequent, and effective someone is with exercise (PMID: 35250719).

So forget what you “should” be doing. Ask yourself what you want to do.

Train With Someone (When You Can)
Fatigue isn’t just physical it’s psychological. According to Dr. Arran Davis, “Fatigue is ultimately determined not by our muscles but by how we feel… But this cautious system becomes a bit less careful when our social environments signal to us that we are safe.” (PMID: 22514538)

Translation?
When we feel supported and connected, we can push further than we thought possible.

Another big benefit is that of social connection. Most don’t realize that social connection is a health metric. The U.S. Surgeon General warns that loneliness can be as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day and more dangerous than obesity or inactivity.

So, if you can train with a partner or a group do it. It’s not just good for your body, it’s essential for your well-being.

No, You Don’t HAVE to Lift Weights
Lifting is great if you like it. But it’s not the only way to build strength or protect your bones.

Mind-body movement has been shown to increase bone density, even in post-menopausal women (PMIDs: 36707306, 36177477).

In pregnancy, these types of movement can also:

• Improve flexibility
• Reduce common discomforts
• Support cardiovascular fitness
• Decrease stress and anxiety (PMID: 39004474)
• And in the postpartum phase, women practicing these movements showed faster improvements in depression, anxiety, overall well-being, and health-related quality of life (PMID: 25886805).

Menopause? Perimenopause? It Still Helps

Women in these stages who practiced gentle, integrated movements experienced:

• Better sleep

• Less anxiety and depression

• Improved energy

• Increased bone mineral density (PMID: 38669625)

Again—no magic pill here. But if we can make this chapter of life more manageable, that’s a massive win.

What About Weight Loss?

If that’s your goal, good news:

This type of movement can support fat loss, reduce waist circumference, lower blood pressure, even improve VO2 max, and can more effective than jogging in lowering blood pressure (PMIDs: 35336749, 38335001).

Bottom Line?

You’re not broken.
You don’t need fixing.
And you don’t need to do everything to be healthy.

But you do deserve options. You deserve something you enjoy. Something that’s flexible, sustainable, empowering and yes, backed by real science.

Most of us, men too, need to take the pressure down more than a few notches. We have more on our plates than ever and making us feel like the hard work we put forth is both destructive to our well-being as well as not being necessary. A landmark study found that when hotel chamber maids simply were taught that the physical activity they were doing was exercise they saw positive benefits in weight, blood pressure, body fat, waist-to-hip ratio, and body mass index (PMID: 17425538).

No, you can’t just think your way to fitness, but if you create better outlooks on the work you ARE doing chances are you are going to discover greater benefits.

I hope that this gives you that confidence and turns down the exhaustion so many feel with their efforts of getting more fit and healthy. If you want to check out more I hope you will give our Myofascial Integrated Movement (MIM) programs a shot! You can get our MIM programs 35% off with code “mim35” HERE